Waiting on people sucks. All I care to do with tonight is getting drunk and painting. Yeah, I wanted to go to a bar or some shit to be around some people, but what the fuck? Who doesn't get lonely? Then again everyone I meet at bars usually tries to fight me or at least wants me to try to. I just don't know how to talk to people anymore I guess. Maybe I try to start conversations with the wong ones or get drug into it because I am polite...

The last bar I went to alone some old dude tried all sorts of crazy shit with me. He asked me if I wanted to make money and it went down hill from there. I thought he wanted me to be his prostitute and then a stud in some porn movie. Then I just didn't know what to think until his hooker lady explained everything. He just wanted somebody to offend and try to get me to fight him over petty insults and comments between the strange conversations we were having. He goes to bars to do this kind of thing I guess cause he's some rich dude with nothing better to do. She explained he gets beat up all the time because of his mouth and that he goes to bars to pick someone lonely like me with nothing better to do to mess with. Haha, I started to laugh because I didn't even realize how true this situation was. He had called me stupid, ashamed of myself by choice of clothing and appearance, and all sorts of shit to try and offend me. She pointed all that out and I said to her, "Well, I don't get pissed easily because I know what's really offensive in life." Haha he was old anyway and there was no way I'd hit someone that age. But I wonder if it weirded him out how long I sat there and talked to him anyway, despite the colorful conversation.

..oh thee well. It sucks when all your friends want to do is get pussy. Do guys have anything else they want to do? talk about? or motivate themselves with? Dudes are fucking ridiculous and predictable. Yeah I know I have a penis too, but sometimes I feel like I was supposed to be a lesbian witha vagina. Haha, I don't know if I should quote myself on that one but it's true. Having met so many friends throughout my short life I have decided, old and young, most dudes just go on and on about "fucking some bitch." or at least how they wish they could. Plus dudes are like the more that major perecentage of rapists cause for a female to do it she would need objects and I don't know, GUYS are just fucking sick. Maybe growing up experiencing what I had to just fucked me up and I have no compassion for males. Most of us, anyway.



Okay, it's late and I officially need to find my own thing to do with painting and drinking.

Desto is right. Vegas belongs to toys who have no skills, style, or respect. Graffiti out here is pretty lame anyway and I am learning so much more that makes me want to get a bike and leave somewhere like Ohio, California, or Philly. I'll still rep. 702 for a while and make my visits for the fuck of it, but my oppurtunities probably won't lie out someplace here. Graffiti doesn't bring a lot of options anyway. You just do it.

The amount of people I know is enough to open the bussiness idea that pretty much reflects most of our ambitions aside the ambiguous shit like music, art, and you know? Culture. We all have to take our hit in settling with a bussiness appeal at life. Opening a venue arts smokeshop and musicstore has been the idea crossing all our minds if we failed at what we want to achieve alone or even after success.
I'm beginning to hate people, well aside the hand select I've known for so long despite our departing ways from each other. New people are just hard to connect with? I don't know haha I guess it's cause of the kind of people I attract too. Strippers, cougars, and alcoholic women love me. Then I get shadey looking drug addicts or gang member wannabies who write graffiti trying to be my friend and fuck my shit up. I always feel like everybody is trying to use each other up. Maybe I like my familiar faces just because of the memory and what we experienced growing up a little. It's even funnier because Mila is never included with any of those people to cherish in my memories, even my friendships. Leigh always takes up the most room when it comes to a lost love in my mind and we were probably at most just better friends. It's funny how nostalgia plays me so much, but I need to just let go of a lot and really go my life right now.


Venice. weds.

Philly. summer.


Thailand.( ? )


Next.....????